So many hurtful words -- spoken and unspoken. So many hurtful actions and inactions.

There is something really wrong when he thinks you're being pa-special...because aren't you supposed to be special? ;(

I deserve someone better. 

I think I broke up with J. It's not because I fell out of love or what, but because I think he fell out of love and my pride can't stand me staying in a relationship that feels one-sided. I feel sad, lonely and scared mostly because of the uncertainty of what lies ahead for me -- who will I spend Saturday nights with now? Who'll go boxing with me now? Who'll jog with me now? 

The thing is that most of my closest friends are faraway. The ones that are here are busy with their new lives. So I'm scared of being alone. At the same time, this could be the push I need to come out of my comfort zone and be my own self.

I'm scared.